Escape from Prison

Every time I read Palm 142:7 I am reminded of one of the lowest times in my life. After my second child was born and neither he nor my first child were sleeping for months (because none of my babies slept well), I was struck with serious hormonal depression. I was wondering if I had actually graduated to psychosis. For the only time in my life I felt suicidal for a whole month and felt I had nowhere to turn. If it had not been for the Lord and being trained to think of consequences of my actions, I would have likely killed myself.

I was begging God to rescue me. Verse seven says, “Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise thy name: the righteous shall compass me about; for thou shalt deal bountifully with me.” The suicidal thoughts and feelings did pass but I remained in my depressed state for two years until I started getting sleep again. Then I didn’t know what to think one month after I felt like a normal person again I got pregnant with my third child. I feared that I would fall into that same pit again.

I have five children now. Every time I had a baby I struggled emotionally to stay calm and walk with the Lord, but I never went back to “prison” because of hormonal imbalance. And every time my babies started sleeping through I felt like a normal person again. Sometimes God’s deliverance is not immediate, but He gives grace to get through. We just have to do right in the moment. I failed at so much back then, but I was still trusting that God would get me through. “This, too, shall pass” they say. It does. We must wait on Him and trust in Him.